In the Beginning...

God created the earth. Is that how it goes? Something like that.

Well, this is it, the beginning. I have failed so many times before, losing weight. The thoughts about this consume me, and I would like to finally face this demon so I can free up my time. Here are the hard numbers: I need to lose up to 40 lbs. I am currently around 165ish, and I can't face the scale. I am 5'5. I recently lost 13 lbs but put it ALL back on, due to stress at work, and my lack of will-power. Actually, I ate out to comfort myself. Well, now I am bursting out of my clothes and feel ridulous wearing skin tight pants. I REFUSE to buy a size 14. So I am in 12's, but those are tight.

So, I have "filled up" on the good stuff recently: Cold Stone ice cream, and Ben and Jerry's ice cream. Even went to Texas Roadhouse tonight and had 2 rolls with cinnamon butter, then a steak with baked potato. This was a lot, considering I had a meatball sandwich at Subway for lunch. And, again, my pants were tight. I knew it was the last straw when I actually had to lay down on the bed this morning to get my jeans to zip!!!

And, in a little more than 2 months, I have my 20 yr high school reunion. Sigh... I can't believe I am so distraught over my weight. But I am looking forward to journaling this, mostly for myself, but possibly as a support to others have the same struggles. I certainly don't have the answers, but maybe I can get things headed in the right direction.